I just had one of the worst nights of my life. All b/c of a girl.
In a nutshell.
The day started out grand. I went shooting with this girl, we’ll call her Becky to make things simple. Anyhow. I went clay pigeon shooting with Becky. It was fun. I had a great time. Hit some baseballs in the afternoon with the same chick and some friends. My day was going grand. In the evening I had an enjoyable time playing on my friends softball team. I had a pretty good game too. I decided that I wanted to kick it with this girl again. Maybe see what happened. She seemed like a way cool girl. And I had put myself out there enough to let her know that I was interested.
We kicked it. Played some cards, watched a funny animated film, then talked. I tend to lean towards the easier route. If she is into me I am into her. I’ve never been good at chasing… and looking at the day in retrospect I see why. On the surface it looks like a good solid day. WRONG. Dead wrong. I did so many things wrong.
First off, I kicked it with this girl for more than several hours, meaning more than 3. Bad move man. I know that rules are important to dating. I used to think, “Screw these unofficial rules man. They are for dudes that just want tail. Go with the flow.” Not any more man. They are a safeguard. The protect suckers like me.
Second bad move: I always assume. Now, I know you have to have confidence. You should feel like a million bucks, but just because you think every girl wants some, doesn’t mean it is true. It has been my sad experience, that it isn’t true. I always assume that I can read people. I have not a clue. I can’t figure people out more than I can figure out the chemical formula to the element that Iron Man invented. I assumed that this chick was interested. I mean, she text me saying that she wanted to hang out. She never said that she didn’t want to hang out. However, I am probably the only option, or one of the few options she has. Girls think that guys just want to be friends. Sure we like a girl or two we can get back scratches from or some advice, but those are usually the girls that have made the rounds, and we figured that it wouldn’t work. Becky probably just wanted some entertainment. She was bored, needed something new.
Third: I gave way too much. I didn’t play hard to get. I practically told her that I liked her. Terrible. I do not know her that well (once again I assumed that she was tight), and girls love to chase (assuming that she liked me). The morning shoot was expensive, shells and clay pigeons aren’t just handed out. Remember, this was the first time we hung out alone. Call it a date if you want. I didn’t even test the waters. I dove right in. During the shoot we made a bet about snow cones. I won… but guess who ended up paying? Me. I AM A SUCKER. Another example, that has nothing to do with money cause I am sounding really cheap right now… I was nice. I was sweet. Not mean. When that feeling isn’t being reciprocated back, that has to tell you something. When your handing out flowers and they are dishing out punches, that has to make you wonder. What the hell is this? You shouldn’t have to ask them to be sweet. Shouldn’t that just be there.
Here is the curve ball. She came to my softball game and cheered. She texted me and said that we should hang out. But when ever I got close, or there was physical contact, an odd feeling shot into the room. The feeling was almost like a shot from the doctor. Ugh. Even thinking about that shot makes me shiver. She was rude to me as well. The jokes weren’t even cute or flirtatious. Just rude. They got annoying. There wasn’t chill and all is good vibe. It wasn’t easy to be there. I felt like I had worn out my welcome, yet she had invited me. It was awful.
I am too nice and sincere. I really want to know the person for who they are and them me, in the matter of minutes. I want there to be trust, but I am only fooling myself. Completely fooling myself. I put myself out there way too much. I tend to do that, but I never learn my lesson. I don’t know when I’ll figure it out, but hopefully sooner than later. At the same time, this type of “give it your all son” attitude has helped me eliminate the girls that aren’t worth my time. I am trying too hard. Some guys just have it– the mojo. As well as the intuition to know which girl will be worth their time. I have neither. I hope someone makes a rule book I can follow so I can nail this down once and for all.