atandt, growing up

"I work for AT&T"

Three to midnight. Five days a week, for seven weeks of “training”. Eight dollars an hour. At the end you should be able to handle any situation that you may encounter as a customer rep. Problems vary from dropped calls, billing inquires, and delayed rebates. Sounds exciting. Well, I work for AT&T. And within the first two hours of orientation I was planning my own suicide.

The first day was incredible. Incredibly boring. Incredibly frustrating. Incredibly odd.

There are so many characters working for Convergys, that it should be a reality show. I think Mark Burnett should look into it. Just hide cameras throughout the building and watch these people interact with each other.

Walking through the door you immediatley notice Bob, the rent-a-security guard. His over gelled hair screams of a guy stuck in the past. A two year vet, he takes his job very serious, scanning his computer screen with 10 different video feeds.

Once in the classroom you discover secrets about your associates that are volunteered too easily. One lady stands and tells of her seven boys, two of which were still born. A woman, with painted on eyebrows, proclaims herself the cat savior, harboring 61 cats. Her cats differ in age, intelligence, and care. On the other side of the room, a Newcastle resident boasts of her degree of Elementary Education from SUU. Finally, one speaks of the fear of interacting with people.

Nothing compares to the instructor, or training, named Bradley. However, he would prefer you to call him B-Rad. B-Rad is an energetic man, who isn’t afraid to make a complete fool of himself. The guy is growing on me, but initially I wanted to punch him. He loves to sing. He recreates classic songs, like Three Dog Night’s Joy to the World, Rolf Harris’ The Kangaroo Song, and ACDC’s Thunderstruck. His voice isn’t terrible, but every songs seems to have his awful face shake sound. I don’t know what else to call it. He loosens his face, shakes it, and makes a guitar like sound. I searched for a giant brick to throw at him when I first heard it, but surprisingly I found no such object.

Then he has a laugh that isn’t human. I can usually imitate how a person laughs or sounds. His is unearthly. The laugh is…. something that must be heard, not explained. I guess you could just say that it will drive a sane man insane. Or in the words of Dane Cook “There are certain sounds in this world, that when you hear them, they make you react in certain ways… some sounds soothing… but then there are certain sounds in this world, that for whatever reason just the way it hits you, it makes you want to punch to punch a baby. It makes you want to punch a baby. God forbid that you’re in a nursery when you hear the sound. You go on a baby punching tangent.” His laugh is the sound that makes me want to punch infants. Luckily his wife is deaf.

I am sure that I will make some more posts.

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