No more sitting on the edge of your seat. Relax, be stress free now. I know everyone has been awaiting this post. I apologize that I have taken this long to finally address one of the most pressing issues that humans have ever encountered– hairy men. The debate has been raised like a waving flag.
To introduce this pragmatic issue, we must establish what is beauty. This in itself is a tough definition or qualification to outline, because beauty is relative. Relative to time, culture, location, government powers, and religion. I am sure you can think of many examples of how each of these external factors influence beauty.
Fast forward to present day. Pop culture, that is forced fed to us through the media, tells us what is pretty, acceptable, and the norm. Unfortunately we have evolved to this point in our history, where those with the money chose what is the norm. TV, the internet, music, movies, etc. all of the facets of media point us in a direction of their choosing. Men are to be tanned (spray on or not), fit (aka rippling six pack), axed hair, and stylist clothes. Women are to be thin, more curvy than a Virgina road, manicured and pedicured, and fashionable (the more skin we can see the better).
Now I could go on forever and ever about the evils about the media, how we should really view our self, and what true beauty is… but today, I am going to tackle just hair, hair on men. Who decided that hair is gross? Hair is fine if its in the “right places”… which are? Arms? Legs? NOT the back. OH help us all if its on the back. No one wants to marry a man who has a cape! But seriously, what is the big deal? We are descendants from apes.
I’ve shaven my legs, arms, and chest… more than once. And while the new hair is growing back, all prickly, I ask myself, “David, are you going to shave again. Just restart the whole eradication process? What is the point? Do women really care? Does it directly contribute to my game? Should I really be concerned with what others think? You will miss how nice the sheets feel on your legs.” I slap myself at that point. No one should interrogate themselves.
Answers: See picture above. Some women would prefer Mr. Sellek. A more rugged, fierce and intimidating man. A man that looks like he could work at a tire shop or run a bar. Then you have Mr. Pitt. Some like that Calvin Klein look. Hairless like a new born babe. A man that could pass for a young successful business man. The solution comes down to what type of impression that wants to be made. I find that I want to be something in between. Nothing says “I’m a man” more than a full chest of hair, or a fat Cuban cigar. Then again, nothing says “I’m classy” more than a hairless chest… or a nice Rolex.
The debate continues. I feel that the government should intervene and make the decision for us. Too many men are polluting our beaches and pools with their capes. Too many are silky smooth that they often slide out of their beds. Put it to our great government. Take the choice out of the media’s hands. Mr. President, this is your time to shine. Lead us in the true way of manhood.