There are some things that you have to go through in life that you’d rather not happen. For instance: Forgetting that you no longer use diapers. Realizing that Santa is fake. Puberty. Three hours of church. Schooling. But at the end of the road, you come out a better person.– Suddenly you can hold your bladder. Mom and Dad are that much cooler when they buy you that gift. Your voice no longer squeaks. You feel a lot better after church. And a better paying job never hurts.
Lets try an exercise. I am going to write a list of words. I want you to read them, and think to yourself, “How do these words or expressions make me feel?” Easy enough. —–Accepted. Granted. Accomplished. Made it. Success. Hit the shot. BOOMSHOCKOLACA! YES!
How do you feel? Good? I hope so. I have another list.– Denied. Shut down. Turned down. No. Rejected. Sorry. Iced. How do you feel now? Like a pile of bricks? Poop bricks? Yeah, I thought so.
I have been getting iced a lot lately. I don’t know what the deal is. I know I was going to let the women run after me, but that just hasn’t been happening. I don’t know what the problem is, but it is haunting me in my sleep. I had a dream last night about one of my ex-girlfriends. It was an odd thing seeing her. I asked her, like she was some kind of an oracle, what the problem was. Why was I getting iced down so much? I don’t remember all she said, there was a lot. She told me it was because I wasn’t that good looking. I looked like a creeper sometimes, with my scowl and such. And finally, because I have bad breath. To say the least, I have been extremely self conscience of all of those things now. I think I may need to do something cooler with my hair, pluck some eyebrows (might help me not look so creepy), and invest in some serious toothpaste and mouth wash.