I have never really been to a club or a real dance, until I came to Cedar. Sure we had bi-stake dances and what not, but the only dancing going on there was on the slow dances. Dancing to “fast songs” (as we like to call them in Fallabama) was too intimidating. No one could really do it. Dancing to popular up beat tempo was taboo. Plus I wasn’t allowed to go to the school dances, they were considered bad. Only the bad kids went to them. So imagine my surprise when I get to the bustling city of Cedar. People actually danced at church function dances.
I love dancing. Dancing can be extremely liberating… you can just let loose and go nuts… if you have the confidence, and that is what it is all about, confidence. I may not be too great on the dance floor, but as a Hyde, I have got confidence or crazy.There are some down sides to dancing.
Number UNO: Sweat. I sweat easy and a lot. I hate it. It sucks when your dancing with a girl and her hair gets stuck on your face. That is something like testing spaghetti to see if it is ready. You know, throwing the noodle on the wall to see if it sticks. Yeah, her hair is the noodles, my face is the wall. ugh…
I don’t just jump into the dancing scene right away, I have to warm up first. I take it easy for the first few songs, so about song number five I am grooving… Grooving = Sweating. All of it. I got the swass, swoosh, swoob, swead, all of it. Dripping like a leaky faucet.
The worst is the smell. People are all sweating; everywhere you find wetness. I feel that humidity should not be created by man, but rather nature. I do not want to be breathing in the vapors of others heat and sweat. I am in a room of condensation. I promise, you will come out smelling like the trap door of odor, just like a casino. A deep cleansing shower is a must!
Number DOSE: Gross People. Aside from the sweat you find some nasties on the dance floor. People who are just creeping, sketchy, psycho, etc. Gross dudes just looking for a feel. The ones who chase down girls and refuse to accept a ‘no’. I feel bad for girls. I really do. If people think church is a meat market, then they need to go to a dance.
Girls can be just as bad. Let me give you a recent example. I was grooving and a larger hunny noticed me. She kept telling me to show her what I had. I don’t usually talk on the dance floor. Talking seems to be counter intuitive. I am already deaf in my right ear, so talking just seems a more difficult task then tying my shoe. So, I ignore her egging me on. ANYWAYS, she keeps finding me. Then, towards the end, she backs her BOOTY up on me. I am stunned. I mean, I feel like I am glued to the floor. She then turns around and takes my hat and puts it on her head. Wow…. That is all I can say. Wow.
Number TRACE: Aftershock. I come home, my ears are ringing, my clothes are soaked, and I am tired. The night is over. No one wants to chill after getting all nasty at a dance. Dances are really a catch 22. They are way more fun than sitting and doing nothing, but they kill the night.