halloween, skanks, suu

Blood, Cleavage, and Darkness, all found in spook alley…

I have not been a fan of Halloween for over 10 years. Mom wanted us to go trick-or-treating, but I didn’t want to. I just dressed up to look like my older brother, Scott and called it good. That was the last time I dressed up for Halloween. That was the last straw, and decided to be my own man. Since that day I have been trying to figure out why I hate this “fun” holiday. Can we agree on one thing, it is a weird holiday. I’m not even sure where the tradition came from. I heard that Halloween comes from Ireland. They used to carve turnips and dress up. Then I heard Halloween came from the carnival celebration in Spain, in honor of the dead. The problem with this holiday, as with most holidays, we have created so many new traditions that the original idea (which I am not even sure what that is… I didn’t check Wikipedia) and holiday has been all but abandoned.

One new tradition (feel free to correct me) is the obsession with the scary side of Halloween. I truly dislike the blood, carnage, and all creepy things associated with Halloween. Where do people get this passion for looking like they have been mutilated or decapitated? The most common costume is the vampire and zombie; both kill and use humans for food. That is really fun and cool. I wish I was like that…. Demented beings that must be servants of the devil. Then again Michael did a really good job. 
Then you have those haunted houses and scary movies….evil and gross. Call me a party pooper, but personally I don’t find either of those things fun in the slightest. People dressed up in masks, covered in blood, walking up on you, or blocking your way, just moving in an ominous way, then others scream and yell… or are crawling on the ground, like they are going to grab your feet. It is true, that usually I want to pay some fee to go into a place that makes me uncomfortable. (Personally I think the Catholic church got that figured out… you know… paying for… oh never mind.) Then again, I can just go on a date. But haunted houses give a fear that isn’t fun. Going on a roller coaster – fun fear. Getting scared – Crappy fear. 

Then at night, after the partying is over, everyone wants to watch a scary movie. The only reason I can even watch a scary movie is because they are so surreal that it is hard not to watch, like an accident, or looking at Jocelyn Wildenstein. Then when I’m home, all alone, it’s dark inside, I get out my shotgun and sleep with it in my bed for fear that leatherface is gunna come get me. 

Maybe I just hate dressing up. I think some costumes are really clever. I saw Joaquin Phoenix, Alan Garner, Tim Lincecum, and even an Avatar. Then, as with all things, I saw the opposite– obtuse. I don’t think that word does justice to what I saw. Immodest? Perhaps, totally inappropriate? Girls were dressed as sluts and boys as gigolos. Notice that I said girls and boys… cause that is their maturity; an adolescent who is foolish and insecure. The whole episode of the howl was very telling of people’s inner commitment to a moral code. I may sound judgmental, I guess I am, but I think that when people claim to live a certain lifestyle their actions and dress should mirror what they “believe” and “preach.” I do not feel that the excuse, “It’s Halloween right? We’re just having fun!” works. Justification is the grease on the slippery pole to hell. All I am saying is walk the walk. And even if they do not have the predominate set of moral codes, they should at least wait to get dirty behind closed doors, isn’t that a given? At least respect the individuals around you enough. I wondered if people misinterpreted where we were. A gymnasium is not a brothel or a private bedroom. Big Ben made a similar mistake as to where he should act like a “boy”. 

Overall I think Halloween is a dark day. The traditions that come with Halloween are not uplifting. Look at all of the other holidays, they are fun, filled with joy and laughter… maybe not president’s day… but at least it’s patriotic. Halloween is nothing more than a carved facade that is disturbing. Cakes are decorated with realistic looking fingers and eyeballs. Orange and black, dreadful colors, intertwine themselves everywhere. Blood smears itself on the faces of ugly candy eaters. Horror is sought after like a destructive drug. Standards are surrendered to the darkness that engulf the night. Halloween is the worst holiday of them all. But Nevada day makes up for it. 

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