Close your mouth when you talk. Please.

There is a term that more people need to know about. I wish I could take credit for making it up, but once again, here I am taking someones terminology, and making it my own. “MOUTH BREATHER”
The world is filled with these parasitic, awful creatures, that were spawned of disgustingness. You pass them on the streets. I know you hate them, cause I do, and you and I are more alike than you want to admit. Let me paint you a picture of a mouth breather. They come from all cultures and backgrounds, but usually they are white– pasty white. They have a smirk that makes you want to write bad letters on walls. Their laugh is a sound that the angles cannot even stand. These are the people who think trident layers suck. The NERVE. Oh, I almost forgot the most crucial part, they cannot seem to breath out of their nose. Hence, the name, mouth breather. And when they breath, they almost have to bear their gosh awful Jon Header teeth.

Usually mouth breathers (MB) feel the need to talk extremely loud on their phone NO matter where they are. As if their conversation is of so much importance that I must hear it. Occasionally they look over at me, just making sure I am listening. I am not listening. I am glaring, trying to use my telekinesis and shoot mind bullets, or casting spells (death eaters..mouth breathers.. Harry Potter? Oh never mind). Mad dogging doesn’t seem to work though, it only encourages the MB to be more obnoxious.

Even as I type their is a MB in the room. He sits a few feet from me, yet his presence radiates inside of me. He is a toxin that must be expelled. He carries on his conversation much too loud with his MB buddy. He laughs much too loud at his youtube videos of kitty cats singing. I guarantee that he walks so slowly when crossing the street… ewww. Shoot I bet he sits in his classes at the front, raises his hand at every question, and still is wrong 75% of the time.Other common elements: B.O., self-righteous, ignorant, bigots, harry, sarcastic, angry, and good at excel.

Is it better to be a MB or a BF? That’s like asking if it is better to be a sparkle or a glimmer.

1 thought on “Close your mouth when you talk. Please.”

  1. some people have nasal congestion. deviated septum.
    and this–
    If you have a lung conditon or need to get more Oxygen to your tissues then you need to breath through your mouth, you are able to take deeper breaths and bring in more air. And if you do a breath hold after taking a deep breath of 2-3 seconds, it gives the gas exchange a little more time, thereby giving your tissues more Oxygen.

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