hygiene, shoes


This subject is often overlooked. What most adult and I would say ‘normal people’ take as common sense, even second nature, there are some that struggle with this concept of hygiene. I have noticed a minority of people who walk around without shoes on. I have no idea why. Who came up with this idea? I wonder if they are making some kind of political statement. Like, “to hell with the progress we have made. We should go back to our caveman roots. Life is too complicated… especially by shoes.” Shoes? I get it if you don’t wear brands that you feel exploit people and have amoral business strategy, but shoes all together? Wear some damn Toms, you hippie.

I get the whole running minimalist movement… its supposed to better for your back and it is hip… whatever, but in public… no shoes. That is not okay. What is this, CRAZYTOWN? No, this isn’t run by Sarah Palin or Dana White. If you’ll recall Tom Hanks, who is a true american, was stranded on an island and resorted to wearing shoes that were too small for him (probably because our feet are weak due to the centuries of wearing shoes. Wait, you mean, we have been wearing shoes in civilized cultures for years and year? Wearing shoes isn’t unethical.). We aren’t apes. If Tom Hanks does it, so should you.

The only reasonable explanation I have is that some school nurse told them it was optional. Let me give you a real life example. This is one of my 20 memories, so you know it had an impact on my life. I was in elementary school. I can’t remember which grade. We had a nurse come in and give us the ‘you need to wash your hands’ talk. This had to be before the ‘you need to wear some deodorant’ talk; that was in sixth grade. We age fast in Fallon.

Back to the talk. Here was our nurse. I think her name was Webb. Ms. Webb is before our class and talks about how we need to wash our hands after we go number two. Then she said something profound, “if you smell your hands and they smell like poop, you need to wash your other hands. If you don’t smell poop you are probably fine…” That’s when my ears shut off. She may have said something like, “but you should wash your hands ALL the time. Never not wash your hands,” but I didn’t hear it. I was on to the opportunities I would have with all this spare time of not having to wash my grimy hands.

See, as a kid, I hated washing my hands. I hated lotion. I hated being clean. At one of my boy scouts board of reviews I told them I had a problem staying clean. The room got very heavy when I said that, but I said, “not like that. With showering and stuff.” I used to never shower after football or basketball games. I would lay in my own filth. So, naturally when I heard an adult, who was obviously trusted by parent and teacher, tell me it was OKAY not to wash your hands, I was on board. I thought it was a rule that only applied to the greater majority. Those who had never drunk from the murky waters of the Carson River or killed fish with their bare hands.

Some sick nurse told a group of kids that they did not need to wear shoes. Sick woman. I hate you.

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