awkward, sweating


I sweat when I am: nervous, in humidity, playing sports, shoveling, taking a test, working out, eating food, wearing too many jackets, sleeping, driving at high speeds, thinking about how I do not want to sweat, snowboarding, playing Xbox, etc. etc. (by etc. etc. I mean, you name an activity, I am probably sweating)

There are obvious situations where sweating is not only allowed, but expected. While there are other times when sweating isn’t allowed or expected. Since I can do little to control my sweat glands, I have decided to embrace my talent, and the first step in that process is admitting who I am.

I am a sweater. I love having a sweaty upper lip. I will be that sweaty guy no one wants to guard in a game of pick-up basketball. I will be that guy who always has to wear a sweater to hide his sweaty tacos, but they will ultimately bleed through.

And, the second step is to come up with an acronym:

Secreting Weakness Escalating Ability Today

See, this gives us sweating folks understanding of what the endocrine system is really trying to do with our unique bodies. Every day we become stronger – better. Reaching the echelon of greatness.

In your face non sweaters. Look at you over there without a shining forehead. You’re SO cool…. yeah. Pshhhh. You are a NON S.W.E.A.T – meaning, you got all that weakness building up in ya, not getting better.

No, no, that isn’t the attitude of a sweater. 

Hey, non sweater, I’ll let you borrow some of my sweat. I’ll rub my sweaty palms on your face. You can guard me in basketball. Yeah, we are on the same team now. That feels better.

2 thoughts on “S.W.E.A.T”

  1. I am so glad that you suffer from the same aliment? Wanna get together some time to talk about possible solutions? I set up a meeting with a product manager at Speed Stick.

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