animals, random

Choose for Yourself

I was sitting in the library this afternoon. I was in a corner, kind of alone. I had homework to do, but I started to day dream. My thoughts somehow cycled through getting a career, sports, a fun game of the month, to what type of animal I would want to be. Then I thought of the type of people that choose penguins. I have never seen Happy Feet, so they don’t seem that clever or cute of an animal. But seriously, who would choose a penguin?

See, how my mind was working was like this… dude. I am going to graduate soon. What job am I going to get. I suck at interviews… (my mind went to sports, game of the month, then came back to job talk)… I wish the opening question of an interview was, “What kind of animal would you be, if you could choose any animal.” That is a tough question. 

So, I thought of animals I wouldn’t be, and for some reason I thought of a penguin. I got angry.

I have never had beef with them. I mean, they can be cute, just the same as any bird (not really cute up close), or wild animal (if hippos can be cute, anything can be). The way they walk bugs me. Their torso is too long. I want to punt them. Evolve already. Learn how to fly. Quit sliding all over the place. They have evil eyes.

Waddle to the edge of the ice. Fall in the water. Swim fast. Eat. Get eaten or live. That’s it?! Migrate (FARTHER) or something, the polar caps are MELTING.

I wannabe a penguin because they are cute. 

Yeah? So are kittens, but they grow up and become evil and cause schizophrenia. What do penguins grow up to be? Suits. We make cartoons about them in suits. You grow up and still waddle. YOU WADDLE!

I wannabe a penguin because they swim fast.

So do seals, and they eat penguins, and seals get eaten by sharks. You are in the middle of the food-chain  Below middle. Be a garbage disposal.

I wanna live in Antartica. I love the snow. 

You are an idiot. Go ahead, be a damn penguin.

I just like them. I dunno what it is. 

Niether do I. Obviously it isn’t logic.

They are funny.

You have watched too many cartoons. Why are they in so many movies, that lead people to believe (outside of the documentary) that penguins are A) Funny B) Cute C) a desirable choice?!? I’ll never understand it. It’s the illuminati. They are tricking us into keeping them around.

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