…that the towels hanging up in the bathroom are for show, not for drying you hands after washing them or your body after a shower. The towels are strategically placed there, with the color coordination and perfect folding, for effect. These are not to be touched. I beg of you, please do not touch them.
…that the way you clean, not the result, but how you do it is wrong. You are dead wrong about cleaning. Your approach is akin to Charles Barkley swinging a golf club. It should be that obvious to you that the method of your cleaning is heinous and should be criminal offense.
…that you have never ever made a bed properly. There are layers of blankets and folds that you still can’t comprehend. Many have lost their lives trying to figure out how lines are so perfectly straight on one side of the bed and yet so broken on the other…You are still in awe of the crowing jewel – the pillows. That mountain of softness is to be appreciated from afar and to be gently taken down each night and reassembled the next morning.
…the concept of washing clothes by their colors. Before you would slam all the colors in together. Now that is something to scoff at! The blues, the reds, the purples, all jammed into the washer at once, as if you were trying to recreate the rainbow and invoke a leprechaun. You are a fool. This is still a hard lesson to learn.
…that eating without her is a poor decision. She doesn’t want to eat at any other time, but that time in which you are eating. She wants to consume a meal simultaneous with you. Yes, I know you are hungry now and you may die, but you should wait. Wait for her. Be grumpy and wait. Chew some gum, your lip, some dirt, but not a meal without her there.
…that you should consider how other feel. I know this is your world and we are all just living in it, but she hasn’t gotten that memo (neither has the rest of the world). Just consider how others are feeling.
…that planning is important. This is what grownups do. They plan and remember those plans. This is the most difficult of all of lessons to learn. Not because you did not hear her, but because you did’t remember. And to really remember you have to really, really listen.
She is a better person than you are. God made her that way. It’s not so much that you are worse, she is just better. Again, I’m not saying you are bad, even though you are when you are compared to her, I’m just saying she is everything you are not. You can only be better because of her. Without her, well, it’s only a matter of time before the wheels fall off. Relish in the fact that she is nice enough to put up with you. Think of how patient she is! She has to teach you the same stuff day after day and you still, AND STILL, do not get it.