Potty Talk

Disclaimer: This blog post is about going to the restroom. It is a disgusting topic and can be considered crude. I will do my best to use as many euphemisms to make it less disturbing. I cannot promise you will not be offended. I wrote the previous sentences to gain permission to write about these things. I am violating social norms and I am being distasteful, but I have given you an opportunity not to read the following. Blame yourself.

Using public restrooms is never fun. Its not something I look forward to. However, there are some scenarios that I prefer over others. I am sure everyone is in the same boat about gas station bathrooms – no one is a fan. There is no rhyme or reason to the madness. You cannot rely on a brand name to say they always have clean and maintained bathrooms. I have been in some where I felt like I was in a Saw movie and thought something was going to come up out of the jon and grab me and pull me down to a torture chamber. Then at another location of the same brand I can tell that they regularly clean.

Bit of tangent here, but have you noticed those “cleaned” sheets posted on the bathroom door? The entries, if true, are sometimes alarming.

Cleaned 10/2/2013 – Jodie 
Cleaned 10/3/2013 – Matt 
Cleaned 6/4/2014 – Rudy 
What the hell happened between October 2013 and June 2014? New management? A revolt? How does this not happen? The team is in a staff meeting and Jodie is like, “Screw signing the bathroom sheet, its not like it matters.” Matt nods his head furiously in agreement.  Out of no where the part-time college student Shasta says, “Let’s not do it any more!” She’s never said anything in staff meeting, but sees this as an opportunity to make an impression. And on that date of October 10/4/2013 is was decided that the sign in sheet was lame. The revolt had begun! 
Work is tricky too. At work everyone has basically the same schedule and that can be challenging when everyones body is sync’d up. In the morning everyone has to have a meeting with the governor and after lunch everyone is making an appointment with Dr. John. There have been moments of sheer panic, where there seems to be no trash bin to dispose of the waste. Its a terrifying proposition to continue to hold toxic waste. No one wants to store nuclear waste.

The storage of nuclear waste (real nuclear waste – like radioactive stuff) is often relegated to the rural and private areas of the world (like Yucca Mountain in NV), where there aren’t a lot of eyes. Its an ugly business. However, in our scenario, going out to the desert isn’t feasible, but privacy is important. This is an embarrassing thing that humans must go through, but it must be done! Toxins must be disposed of, even if you have to wait in line and rest upon a warm throne.

And then, when you get in you, are surrounded by what seems to be the most desperate of people. People who have been looking to dispose of their trash as well. They don’t care how they just need to get rid of it. I have been tempted at times to applaud other for their hard work, a little, “Hell ya, brother!”. However, the greatest fruits of their labor is the feeling of removing the heavy burden placed upon them, by themselves.

See, we do this to ourselves. There is no one else to blame. We are creating the pain we endure. We abuse ourselves with the low octane fuel we put into the gas tank. The 85 grade fuel that contains ethanol isn’t good for the engine. Sometimes you need to fill up on the premium. 

Leave a Reply